I Can Do It!

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I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it is to write this. However, sometimes, you just have to do hard things, right? I can’t even count how many times I’ve written about this topic – countless – but I’m going to bring it up yet again.

I know that I am not a “thin” man. However, I’ve never felt like I was a morbidly obese man.

Today, I found out that officially – I am. If I were to apply for health insurance coverage today based upon my current weight, I would be denied coverage. Fortunately, they won’t raise rates from where you initially qualified, but this is still a very sobering thought.

I will lay it all on the line – and fully disclose a few things. I’ve been trying. In fact, at times I’m rather upset that what I’m doing is not working. Tomorrow marks 300 days without any soft drinks, teas, juices…pretty much anything but water. I’ve also gone 160 days without eating french fries. I’ve given up two of my biggest vices so I can lose weight. But it hasn’t worked.

I lift weights 3-5 times a week. I’ve increased cardio. I’m eating better – but I’m still fat.

There’s nothing more humbling than putting on a pair of pants and having them not fit the right way. There’s nothing more troubling than bending over to tie your shoes and having to stop to catch your breath. There’s nothing worse than having a job where you stand in front of people each and every week several times and feeling like all eyes are on the flaws of your physicality.

Here’s the problem – I don’t really feel like I am “morbidly obese” person. But according to my health insurance, if I were to qualify for the preferred or basic coverage – I would have to lose 31 pounds up to 40 pounds. I honestly feel like if I were to lose that much I’d be a beanpole. But – if I want to save money and have good coverage – I have to do it.

I’ve never really cared that much about reaching a “number” for my weight. But apparently, that number is extremely important for insurance purposes.

Here’s where you come in. The book of James tells us to “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” While I don’t feel like I am confessing a sin, I am asking for prayers that I can be healed of my cravings, my lack of willpower, my lack of desire to stay focused on this endeavor, and that my health can improve.

I know there are people out there who are struggling with more issues than being overweight – but let’s face it, we all have struggles with our identity and our appearance. Will you pray for me? And if you need prayers in this same situation, can I pray for you? Let’s support each other in these endeavors. May God give us the willpower we need to stay the course for good health.

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New Decade, New Year, New Resolutions,

Halfway through the year 2009, I joined a gym.  I made a second half resolution for 2009 — get motivated for 2010.

Since that day, I have at least been the gym twice every week.  I even got up and went to the gym the day we left for the beach at Thanksgiving.  I hate getting up in the mornings and going to the gym, but I must say I hate being fat.

In December of 2007, I posted these physical goals for 2008:

1. Lose at least as much weight as my wife gains through her pregnancy.
2. Be consistent in my exercise and diet plans.
a. Exercise in some form 6 days a week
b. Eat consistently 3 meals a day with 2 or 3 small snacks in between.
3. Be able to shave my beard off because I won’t have a double chin anymore.
4. Eat in a most healthy way except for twice a month, when I’ll be able to eat whatever I want.

I didn’t do so well.  I look back, and realize I actually failed miserably.  I didn’t lose any weight after Kristen had Josie.  I didn’t exercise, except for about a week.  I ate constantly, not consistently, and it was more than 3 meals a day and no snacks, unless you count chips as a snack.  I still have my beard.  And I ate healthy twice a month instead of the other way around.

I realize now why I failed.  I had no motivation.  I went and tried once or twice at a gym, but I tried to do everything at once, not over time.

Now, I have a solid foundation to build on.  I am motivated.

So I have a few new goals to bring out, while banishing the old goals.

1.  I will walk/jog/run at least one mile every day in 2010.  Sounds crazy, but it is doable.  It takes me 20 minutes to walk a mile right now at a very casual pace.  I can take 20 minutes a day to that.

2.  Continue to work out at least 3 times a week.

3.  Reduce my carbonated beverage addiction to no more than 2 a day, hopefully down to one.  I see no reason in eliminating them altogether, which I have done in the past.

4.  I will fit in a size 36 waist pant by the end of the year. (currently at 40)

5.  I will be able to wear something besides Big and Tall clothes.  (However, right now, I’m learning that clothing size is totally inconsistent.  My shoulders are very broad now, and while I can fit into an XL shirt through the chest and waist,  my shoulders don’t fit into them.)

6.  I will be able to, at the end of the year, report that I am a much healthier person.  Bodyfat % will be down, fat levels in blood will be down, and cardiovascular endurance will be up.

7.  I will not focus on my weight, but rather, my health.

8.  When I look in the mirror, I will no longer be ashamed, but proud.

9.  I will not sabotage my results after working so hard to achieve them.

10.  I will be contagious with my actions.

So, don’t wait till its too late to set up your goals for 2010.  These are my physical goals.  I will post on other goals in the upcoming days.